Resignation

This one was written last October after I hadn't written in a long time and I was a little rusty. Just wanted to get some thoughts down that were going through my head.

Resignation

I no longer know what I’m feeling,

I no longer know my crime,

I lie here facing the ceiling,

Turning my thoughts into rhyme.

They say that love is complicated,
Of that I am now quite sure,
Yet still some things should be debated,
Like does this pain, have a cure?

I sometimes wonder if things will ever change,
Will things change between me and you?
I confess to you that I scream and rage,
When I think that we’re finally through.

Yet when I’m with you time stops there, dead still,
Your touch is electric, a shock, sharp, surprising thrill,
I know now this is an addiction, such as a drug or a pill,
The pain shatters right through me, like a hammer, a drill.

You may note the change of tempo now; I thought it suited well,
The hurt, the confusion, the everlasting hell,
I consider what could be, I think, I dwell,
It seems I found you through fate, I stumbled, and I fell.

I could write verses all day to explain how I feel,
But through these words I’ve said what is real.
When I see you I stammer, I shake and I stutter,
Incoherent thoughts I think, few words I utter.

Now just know that I love you, this much is true,
Though I know you won’t believe me, that just isn’t you,
We share so much in common; this is such damnation,
There’s elation but frustration, I still feel the deflation.

Can you explain this feeling, explain the causation?
Of my pain, my stress, my distraught resignation.

© Ben Johnson 2010.